Chicago what in the FuuUuuuUUUuuuCcccCCKkKkkKK- to be read lyrically, in rising and falling tones and move your arms around like your’e conducting a symphony. What’s happening out here in the simultaneously pre and post apocalyptic streets? I exist in a constant state of confusion while also telling myself ‘ain’t nothin…

Holy fucking shit, fucking dinosaurs, Jesus Christ, what the fuck, am I right everyone? Except replace dinosaurs with ‘novel coronavirus’ or ‘the year of our lord two thousand and twenty’ and it would be much more apropos. At the beginning of this year I was on a boat with my…

Jesus Christ, Chicago! Am I using that in the pejorative sense or am I imploring Jesus himself to come from wherever he is hiding and turn our sewage water into sweet dandelion wine because what is actually going on? The answer is both because Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ, are…

Wow, Chicago, time flies! Here I thought it had been about 2 weeks since the beginning of the stay at home order and in reality it’s been some odd 376 years. I look exactly like Rip Van Winkle with a beard to my knees and Chicago; you are a beauty…

Chicago, it’s been awhile since we’ve had a tete a tete. Yes, we’ve talked, we’ve given that Midwestern grimace smile as we pass each other on the street, we’ve queried about one another through friends of friends but we haven’t really hashed it out one on one, you know? I…

Chicago, what in the God damned hell? It seems like only yesterday we tossed the rotting corpse of 2018 into the incinerator and wept under the falling ash and now 2019 is on its last few beeps of life support and I’ve got one hand on the plug. I find…

Chicago, hello, roll call raise your hand if you are present! It has been a fortnight since we’ve talked but in reality it has been 7 months and my how time slips by like sands through an hourglass (good metaphor right? I wonder if anyone has thought of it before)…

Here we are again, Chicago! At the very tip-top of yet another year who would have thunk they would just keep on coming? I was optimistic that maybe after 2018 we’d just cash in our chips and be on our way or some other race out in the universe would…

Chicago, my fish has died. Perhaps this seems an insignificant event given the amount of fish deaths you witness on a daily basis but this is number 3 for me within a year. I discovered him before heading into work and carried his receptacle of death, his lifeless body sloshing…